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So you've decided to try online personals. Well you've come to the right place. Here are my tips for writing attention getting, smart ads and responses.

Writing a Personal AD

Your Personal Ad

Most online dating services ask standard questions about yourself. It's great to get the particulars of yourself out of the way, but the key to a good personal ad is what you write in the description & headline fields. Think of your personal ad as an advertisement for yourself. The goal is to draw people in with your headline and keep the reader's attention by writing an interesting description of yourself.

Your Ad Headline

The headline for your ad needs to be catchy enough to get someone's attention in just a few words. You can easily do this by using keywords that best sum up your personality. If you're funny it should show in your headline. There's no need to include details about yourself such as your age since that information is usually listed along with your headline (see graphic below). It's also important not to say anything that makes you sound desperate like in these examples:

Lonely Guy/Girl Sick of being single Desperate for love Tired of Looking

Remember, you're essentially trying to sell yourself and your positive qualities. So avoid negative statements in your headline and have fun with it! It's also a good idea to include phrases like "click here" or ask a question like "Are you a movie fanatic?" When you ask someone to do something or to answer a question you're more likely to get results.

Now let's talk about the Description for your ad. This is your chance to say in your own words what you're about. It's not enough to answer a bunch of generic questions. So GO FOR IT. Let your personality show and don't hold back. Keep in mind there are hundreds of ads just like yours that say the same things. So say something to stand out from the crowd and make the reader curious to find out more about you. Talk about things that are interesting to you and stay away from clichÃ©s. And please, please avoid making up things about yourself. You're only wasting your time and someone else's by being dishonest. I suggest writing enough to convey what you're about but not revealing everything about yourself initially. A good rule of thumb is to keep your description within 200-300 words.

Your Personal Ad Picture

There are no ifs, ands or buts. You MUST have a picture to post with your personal ad. Let's face it, looks matter. Posting a photo is a smart way of getting the attraction part out of the way. So here are some basic guidelines when choosing a photo to post:

The photo must be a reasonably recent photo that represent how you look NOW. The photo cannot be of your artwork, your dog or whatever. It must be of YOU! The photo should not have anything obstructing your face and cannot blurry or modified in any way. Use your common sense and post a photo that is an honest representation of how you look now. When it comes down to it, attraction matters. Someone can sound fabulous in writing but let's face it, if there's no attraction, you're going nowhere fast. So please, please don't waste people's time. Get a digital photo. It's easy. Go to Kinkos and they'll do it for ya. Trust me on this one.

Responding to Personal Ads

It's very important to keep some things in mind when responding to personal ads:

Your response needs to stand out - Remember your response is certainly not the only one the person is receiving. So, saying something generic is not going to get you anywhere, like I'm 30 years old, etc. etc. These general stats are already shown on your profile so there's no need to be redundant. Come up with an interesting, catchy headline since that's what people are scrolling through while searching personal ads.

Stay away from clichÃ©s - Try to stay away from statements like, I enjoy long walks on the beach and candle lit dinners. Things like this just sound way too contrived and unbelievable. Try to talk more about things you REALLY enjoy, in other words be honest.

Say something that shows your personality - What really catches someone's attention is an interesting headline and interesting facts about yourself. Your personality is what needs to show in your response. If you're funny, show it. If you're sarcastic, show it. There's no need to make things up, just tell it like it is. People who are attracted to your personality type will respond.

Feel good about yourself - Feel good about your personality and let it show in your response. No one wants to respond to someone who says something like, "I know you wont respond, but I'm writing anyway." That is definitely the kiss of death. If you are unable to feel positive about yourself in your ads & responses, get therapy. Learn to feel good about yourself and good people will be drawn to you.