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NEVER ASK Never Never Never ask a girl: "would you like to do this?" if you're not 200% sure that she's going to answer YES! A very good friend of mine, Axel, is confused by now. Axel has just asked Natacha, a young student in visit in Paris, if she wanted to go to see a dance show at the opera Bastille. That would have only costed her $40! And the description of that "fantastic" show that he gave me sounded boring as hell! To be honest with you, I was laughing inside. Isn't it surprising that Natacha refused the invitation?!

How could he expect a positive answer? The girl has got no reason to be interested if it does cost her money on the first place. A dance show might be very expensive for a small budget. Second, maybe it's worth it if you like dance show. But some people don't like dance show. Some people might hate dance show. Who knows? The fact is that he didn't ask her if she liked it. Asking bluntly something that you only want to do for yourself is quite selfish, don't you think?

If he had offered to pay and invited her to do something she was interested in, and if he had checked that she really liked him... things would have been probably different!

Gentlemen, you have to make sure the girl is interested in you, first. A frenchlover looks for positive signs:

if she brushes up against you if she laughs when you say something (even when it's not funny!) if she gives you a compliment if she reveals her feelings, and say: just kidding if she fakes jealousy for fun if she likes your firstname and likes to pronounce it if she likes your clothes if she touches you accidentally if she likes to be close to you or in your space if she's usually looking at you if she looks at you when leaving a room Most of guys do that common mistake. They don't wait for positive signs. They ask without knowing if the girl is interested in the first place. Second, they suggest something that the girl might not be interested in. How do they want to succeed and get a "yes"? I see too many guys speeding on the highway of seduction, wearing sun-glasses, when it's pouring with rain. Bang! They end up right in the wall!

Reduce your speed, and start opening your eyes and your ears. A frenchlover is like a bodyguard. Get information before action.

Careful, a girl interested in you doesn't mean necessarily "in bed", OK? That's what Dating is all about! And that's why it is so complex. Interest can change as fast as the speed of light.

SPEECH IS SILVER...

Silence is GOLD.

Get information before proposing. Would you jump in a swimming-pool without checking if there's water in? Always check the water. I'm going to tell you how to check the depth of the water, and the temperature as well.

YOU: What are you doing this weekend? Silence

If she answers: "I'm busy till the year 2010", it's not a good start. I suggest that you start looking at other directions. 60% of men fail on that one.

If she answers: "nothing, I don't know... why?", it's a good start.

If she says: "I've got nothing planned, but I'd like to do something", it's warm.

If she says:"I've been invited by Bob, but I'd like to do something else." It's HOT!

If she says:"I've been invited by Bob, but I'd rather do something exciting with you. Why don't you come to my place?" it's burning. But it won't happen. Unless you're dreaming! In that case: wake up.

YOU: We could do something some day... Silence

You're not asking, just assuming you could do something someday... OK? Nothing wrong with that... It's obvious it's an offer. She takes it, grabs the opportunity or not.

If she's not grabbing anything, thank you good bye. Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe she'll contact you some other day when she's more available.

Then:

YOU: What do you like to do? Silence

Then she will tell you what she likes to do. You will just have to ask her if she would like to do something she likes to do. Simple as that! Why wouldn't she say yes? How could she not fall in your arms after that?...