How Do I Get Him to Propose?
Date: Saturday, January 01 @ 00:00:00 CST
Topic: Ladys Talk
This is the third time I’ve found myself in a long-term relationship with a wonderful guy who loves living with me, says he loves me, but won’t agree to marriage. He keeps saying he needs more time; it’ll soon be 2 years. How can I get him to make the leap?
There is nothing you can do to get your boyfriend to “make the leap”. Decide that you are worth marrying, make plans now to “start over” and move on. Read on for how to have a different outcome next time.
1. Don’t live together.
This doesn’t work for you. We know from research that couples who live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce.
When your friends criticism your actions tell them simply, “It just doesn’t seem to work out for me”. TOP
2. Look for a man who
is interested in marriage.
It is neither foolish nor forward to ask on a 3rd date what he hopes to accomplish in dating; if he’s looking for “fun” he’s not a “keeper”. Be frank and let him know you’re ready to find your life partner, soul mate or mate. When appropriate and there is opportunity make it clear that you want to be married (and in this century!)
3. Be kind to yourself as you recover from this relationship.
Take stock of what worked (ex. he helped and offered comfort without being asked) and what didn’t work (perpetually late and resentful of family and friends). Ask yourself; Who do I need to be to bring a marriageable man into my life? Better groomed? More attentive? Less talkative?
4. Live an interesting and satisfying life now-
Have a live worth sharing and caring for. If you’re short on interests do the work to find and cultivate some. pastimes, hobbies or causes; animal rescue, art, sports, etc. Keep busy while “looking for good candidates”. TOP
5. Look for someone entirely different from the man you are with now.
You will have to re-train yourself to make different choices. This will be uncomfortable at first but after a few dates you’ll appreciate the difference and the possibilities!
6. Look around for couples who represent a strong healthy marriage and notice what they do, how they treat each other, what kinds of habits and skills they have that you would like to embrace.
|
|